she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize