The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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