his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
