official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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