I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
