Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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