Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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