So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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