his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
