My brain says no but my pants say off.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
