I'm sorry my penis didn't work
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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