Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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