he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
