just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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