if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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