There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
