you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
