I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
