I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
