I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
