The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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