Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to make out with him forever
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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