how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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