the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
