I can text with my tongue
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
