I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
