A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
4 words: hood of his car
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
