honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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