Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize