So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
