Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize