would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she smelled like a LAN party
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize