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I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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