One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
