grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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