I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes