you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
