sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
