dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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