Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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