I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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