oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found your dick twin last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I party with great urgency now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
