Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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