After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
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