question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
