We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
