I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize