my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
