Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
