Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize