i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
