there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
