he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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